BEST: THIS WRESTLEMANIA
I want to get this out of the way. I got an overall feel that this was a lackluster event from the responses online and I couldn’t disagree more. I absolutely hated the “ultimate thrill ride” moniker, but I literally went on an emotional roller coaster for seven hours, so I guess they hit the nail on the head. I popped huge, I cried twice, my jaw dropped more times than I can count. All in all, I felt that this was the greatest Wrestlemania of all time, and I’ve been watching them live since Wrestlemania 9.
Some random stray thoughts before I analyze the matches:
– I was super bummed about the set. Boring, ugly, weird weather. I generally don’t outdoor wrestling events. And then the sun went down and sweet mother of god this stadium looked fantastic. I felt like it took a lot longer for it to get dark at Wrestlemania 31, maybe my memory is bad, but we only had two matches in the daylight and they both delivered.
– Seven hours. Seven hours. Last year felt like a marathon, this year I was perfectly fine with it. I think it was a combination of dreading it after how long last year felt and the fact that the show delivered in a great way.
BEST: Kings of the Cruiserweights
A GREAT match, honestly one of the best of the night. As I predicted in my predictions, Neville had to resort to some dirty tricks to pick up the victory. This match left me craving more between these two and also established Neville’s dominance as the King of the Cruiserweights. Not amazing enough to get me to tune into 205 Live, but I don’t even think that was a possibility.
WORST: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Yet
Eh. The only “moment” here was Gronk getting involved, and that wasn’t a big enough moment to make this a memorable battle royal. There were no real tie-ins with current storylines other than Braun and Big Show. I swear to god I didn’t even know American Alpha were in this match until I saw this photo. I don’t see Mojo going anywhere much beyond where he is right now. All-in-all, disappointing.
WORST: Intercontinental Championshit
I was a little surprised to see this dropped to the kickoff show (the Smackdown Women’s Championship was originally scheduled), but it was right where it belonged. This match didn’t do anything for anyone. Baron Corbin isn’t progressed in any way shape or form. Dean Ambrose is still wildly unexciting. The fans didn’t enjoy it. Thank god this wasn’t on the main card.
Best: AJ Styles is the Greatest Wrestler of All Time
First off, AJ’s ring gear is phenomenal. Pun intended. AJ styles demands the attention of the audience. Some brilliant counter sequences in this match. The 450 splash into a triangle choke from Shane into a Styles Clash was incredible. Great near falls. I usually don’t buy into refs getting knocked out for extended periods of time, but he legit got kicked in the face. Shane McMahon also payed homage to Brock Lesnar and performed a shooting star press, which is amazing. This match did everything I wanted it to.
BEST: Kevin Owen’s Finger
Ring attire: ***** The continuity is off the charts. Kevin Owens competing in his 2nd Wrestlemania and wearing a KO-Mania 2 shirt with the actual Wrestlemania 2 logo is genius. And Jericho combining his blinky jacket into a scarf is freaking awesome. The match itself was great; way better than I was anticipating. Kevin Owens was being very, well, Kevin Owens. Screaming “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!” and then punching Jericho in the face is something that very few individuals can get me to buy into. And the one finger on the rope for the rope break was my favorite moment of night. Great match, did exactly what it was supposed to do.
Best: Women’s Revolution
Hat’s off to WWE. The entrances for this match were amazing. This is the first match in the dark and the set looks absolutely incredible. Fun match. The triple team german suplex on Nia was a thing of beauty. Take notes, Shield. Entertaining all the way through and was very surprised by the outcome.
BEST: OH MY GOD I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
Am I crazy or was the crowd chanting “Si!” at Xavier woods. Incredible. I had a really difficult time pulling my jaw off the floor when the Hardy’s came out. Seriously. I think that might be one of the greatest swerves of all time with the New Day hinting that they were the 4th team. Absolutely incredible. Also incredible is how over DELETE is. Crowd is insane for the match, the crazy Swanton Bomb from Jeff Hardy and the Hardy’s winning the titles… This was just amazing. Nowhere near their previous WM ladder matches in terms of quality, but the energy and shock value make this one just as enjoyable.
BEST: Me Crying Like a Little Girl
Quick side note to give props where they are due: It was hilarious when the international commentator’s mic wasn’t on and Jerry Lawler noted that he “has a really quiet voice.” In hindsight, the booking makes perfect sense. Look, if John Cena wants to propose to his girl at Wrestlemania, then you let the man do it. He’s earned it. Miz was extra-asshole with his crowd pandering. Quick in and out match and the real story was John Cena proposing to Nikki Bella. Good stuff.
Best: Slaying the King
Epic entrance from Triple H as always. I know special Wrestlemania ring attire is a thing, but I love how Seth Rollins is more of “big match ring attire.” Tonight he was the Gold Ranger and it felt important. Cool entrance from him as well. A perfectly fine but not necessarily great match. Never quite hit the next level with me. I did appreciate the Phoenix Splash connecting though, that was a thing a beauty.
WORST: What?
I’d be totally fine with Bray Wyatt having some corny-ass super powers if it actually meant anything. But it doesn’t. It never has before, and it certainly didn’t tonight. Now if Orton was closing in on the win, started hearing those voices in his head, and then for the first time in the match the maggots projected onto the mat and Wyatt used it as an opportunity to nail a Sister Abigail and win…. that would make sense. But, as I predicted, Randy Orton won the title, nobody cared, and now we can move on to an Orton/AJ feud that should be great. This match was absolute garbage, didn’t do anyone any favors, and… wait a minute. I just made the connection that Smackdown has been hands down the better show since the brand split and they just completely shit the bed at this year’s Wrestlemania. Outside of AJ Styles and Shane McMahon, which was incredible, Smackdown failed miserably.
BEST: Don’t Blink
Incredible. That was the best first 30 seconds of a match I’ve ever seen. I popped out of my chair so hard when Goldberg came out of nowhere with the spear after three German Suplexes. The match was predictable, but that’s not a bad thing in my book. I know I’m kind of alone on this, but I give this match full marks. It did not overstay its welcome and I physically could not remove my eyes from the screen. That is an amazing accomplishment after having me sit here for six hours.
BEST/WORST: A Lot of Hairspray
This match did what it was supposed to do. It wasn’t great, nor was it supposed to be. This division has been given tons of opportunities to shine, as it will in the future. A simple feel good moment for Naomi and a break between the co-main event and the main event.
BEST: Yards and Stuff
I wanted to puke all over my floor when I found out that this was the main event, but that was because I thought WWE was doing it for Roman. Knowing what I know now, I think it was the right call. The Undertaker deserves to go out in the main event of Wrestlemania. I don’t care that the match wasn’t great, I don’t care that he’s way past his prime, and I don’t care if everyone hates Roman Reigns. This wasn’t about all of that. This was about Undertaker making his final Wrestlemania appearance. It was about him completing his story, and for that alone, I’m glad I was able to watch it.
CHEAP POP 